Who's Bad?

Michael Jackson has been dead for just over 24 hours now and I have no clue how I should feel about it. Do I lament the loss of an amazingly talented artist? I don't know. It seems he hasn't been an amazing artist for a very long time. He was quite likely tapped out, artistically speaking. Do I feel shock that someone who was the most successful solo artist of all time died $400 million in debt? Not really. His financial troubles have been well-known for many years. Do I feel disdainful regarding the allegations of pedophilia? I don't know. After all, he wasn't found guilty. For many people this is a black and white issue. Most are heartsick over the death of a great artist while many (certain of his guilt, trial verdict be damned) are just fine with his passing. I guess I fall somewhere in the middle. And the middle ain't where I wanna be.

First off, I was never a huge Michael Jackson fan. I was only 11 years old when his milestone album "Thriller" came out in 1982 and I certainly was impressed by his talent and enjoyed his songs. But I never latched on to him with the frenzy that so many others did. The first musical artist that I responded to in a rabid, devotional sort of way was Prince two years later with the release of "Purple Rain." And everybody knows (or should) that you're either a Prince guy or you're a Michael Jackson guy. Well, I was a Prince guy. Back then Prince was the Marilyn Manson of his day. His androgynous sexuality and blunt lyrics ("Darling Nikki" anyone?) made him a pejorative to many parents. So who in the world would think that 25 years later the elfin, purple addicted, sex god would seem relatively "normal" when compared to the pale, altered, bizarre person of Michael Jackson? Hell, Prince has even played the Super Bowl to rave notices while Jackson has been nowhere to be found.

How in the world did Jackson get here? Obviously, most of his problems started with childhood. It's difficult to imagine how one can start out as a child star and ever really adjust to an adult life. For every Jodie Foster there's several Corey Haims (see Leif Garrett, River Phoenix, Edward Furlong etc.). When Jackson burst onto the scene at age 11 in 1969 as the lead singer of the Jackson Five he was an instant phenomenon. People were stunned by his vocal talent and charisma. He was certainly no fluke. Between 1969 and 2002 Jackson accumulated 40 top 10 hits (including 18 #1's) and has sold over 700 million records worldwide. Astonishing numbers. He seemed to make the transition from child star to adult artist in full with the release of "Thriller." However, all that success only masked the deeper problems that Jackson had.

There were signs back then that were largely ignored or passed off as "eccentricities." Taking a chimpanzee to awards shows, calling your residence the "Neverland Ranch," building a zoo and amusement park on said property, sleeping in an oxygen chamber, and wearing surgical masks outdoors are not the behaviors of a normal person. But this is nothing compared to what he had done to his appearance. From the skin lightening and anorexia to the prescription drug addictions and all those awful plastic surgeries speaks to a person full of self-loathing and depression. He hated his appearance to such a degree that he would have rendered himself unrecognizable if it weren't for the fact that he lived nearly every moment of his life in the public eye. Seriously, take a look at him as a child, then during "Thriller" to yesterday. You know those renderings that graphic artists working for the police create to alert the public what a missing child might look like years later? Well, if Jackson went missing at 15 you would never have found him in a million years.

Of course the thorniest and most disturbing issue with how to regard Jackson involves his strange behavior towards children. No one will ever know whether Jackson actually molested those children who had sleepovers at "Neverland Ranch," but it's clear his behavior was at minimum highly inappropriate. Having someone else's children sleep in your bed is just asking for trouble. Even after the trial, Jackson didn't seem to know that his behavior was wrong. I remember watching a 60 Minutes special where he referred to children being in his bed as "innocent." And to him I'm sure it was, regardless of what did or did not happen. Considering all his bizarre behavior and unusual interest in children it's not difficult to buy that he could have been a child molester. But I also think it's possible that this stunted human being couldn't relate to anyone else. He certainly was very childlike himself. From the way he spoke to the carnival like atmosphere he chose to live in, he seemed like someone who not only never grew up but didn't want to.

As I said before, this had to start with childhood. His father, Joseph Jackson is widely regarded as a hateful, domineering bastard who pushed his children well beyond reason to escape his life as a steel mill worker in Gary, Indiana. Insults and beatings were a regular way of life. The elder Jackson often referred to Michael as "ugly," and "too black." He was extremely harsh on Michael during puberty when his youngest son suffered through acne break outs. Michael's brother Marlon once recalled a particularly heinous outburst by Joseph that resulted in the father holding Michael up by one leg and beating him repeatedly across his back and bottom. Of course many people go through terrible childhoods and don't grow up to be like Michael Jackson. But when you toss in the pressure of being a child star along with the abuse it's easy to see how something must have snapped inside. None of this would excuse child molestation. Not by a long shot. Having grown up with an alcoholic myself and also having friends and family members who suffered from one form of child abuse or another, I can easily say that few things are worse. But we don't know that he did it.

I know some people think of Jackson the same way they think of O.J. Simpson. A guy who got off merely because he was famous. But that thought process neglects a couple of things. For one, the physical evidence against Simpson was far more compelling than that of Jackson's case. It's also worth noting that Simpson was found guilty of causing the deaths of Nicole Simpson and Ron Goldman in civil court whereas Jackson was not. And not to defend celebrities, but they are certainly easy targets (Jackson perhaps the easiest of all) for gold diggers. To that point, what kind of parent would let their child stay overnight, unsupervised with such a strange man? Did they see a financial angle? It's not that difficult to believe.

So where does that leave conflicted people like myself? I guess in the end it's as simple as this, sad. Sad for what was, what might have been, and what will now never be. No comeback and no closure. Just an awful, sickening sadness.

Sumo-Pop
June 26, 2009