Public Strangers

"I am not a role model," Charles Barkley once said. "Just because I can dunk a basketball, doesn't mean I should raise your kids." True enough, although I'm sure that in Chuck's case this was a bit of a pre-emptive strike. Sir Charles was smart enough to know that he wasn't up to role model standards, what with his gambling, carousing, and drunk driving. So, that should be taken into consideration when thinking of his now famous (infamous?) quote.

You can probably guess where I'm headed with this. Yeah, I'm talking about Tiger Woods and what may likely have been the worst two weeks of his life. For those living in a cave, on November 27th, Tiger Woods was found bleeding from the mouth and face, prone, and barely conscious in his own driveway after backing over a fire hydrant and taking out his neighbor's tree. Suspicion surrounded the event from the outset. Why did his wife take a golf club to his vehicle in an effort to extract him? Why was there no blood in the vehicle if his injuries were suffered in the accident? Did his wife attack him after learning of an affair? Woods didn't help matters much by cancelling three separate interviews with the police. When he finally did discuss the incident, it was with a vague post on his web site referring to his "transgressions" and appealing for privacy. He has since made a second post regarding his infidelity to his wife and stating that he will be staying off the golf course for an indefinite period of time to deal with his family issues.

One wonders what Woods must be thinking with a new woman coming out of the woodwork everyday detailing her "relationship" with Tiger. This man who is adored by fans, has a beautiful wife and child, and has arguably taken over for Michael Jordan as the pre-eminent athlete of our time is now sinking like a stone. I mean seriously, what the hell was he thinking? It's not just the alleged affairs (he's hardly the first jock to misuse his, er, jock), it's the sloppiness and apparent rampant nature of them. Who knows if all these women are telling the truth or not, but there's certainly enough smoke there to send the media fire trucks and paparazzi dalmatians out of the station.

While this whole sordid ordeal is very disappointing (at least) for those who know and care for him, as well as his massive fan base, I think it points to the dangers of holding people you don't know in unreasonably high esteem. Not to say that the ubiquitous Woods hasn't contributed to this perception. He, along with his multitude of sponsors, have positioned him as the standard bearer of modern excellence. As a friend once said to me: "I'm tired of Tiger Woods telling me how to live." And although this same friend is a huge fan of Lance Armstrong--- therefore dripping his statement in irony---I get what he means. Tiger has certainly sought the pedestal that he has been placed on, and up until now, it's a position that he has clearly enjoyed.

However, the media and, yes, we the public have to take some responsibility for this too. How many times do we have to be burned by a public figure before we give up on these guys as models to live our lives by? I'm not suggesting that we can't admire any of these folks, and I'm definitely not saying that I haven't fallen prey to this level of affection myself. In fact, if Bono came out tomorrow as a womanizing man-whore who drowned puppies on the weekend, I would be crestfallen. So, as I write this, I am cleanly aware that this physician must also heal thine own self for I too am guilty.

As a child, I had no greater sports hero than Julius "Dr. J" Erving, the superstar pro basketball player for the Philadelphia 76ers. Hell, I'm still a Sixers fan to this day thanks to the gliding, acrobatics of the funky, claw-handed, militant afro'd small forward who was the very predecessor of such gravity defying players like Dominique Wilkins, Michael Jordan, and Lebron James. No one had ever seen anything like the good doctor when he came on the scene. And it wasn't just his high wire athletic endeavors that fascinated me. It was also his almost regal bearing, his thoughtful demeanor, and well-spoken intelligence. He seemed to exemplify class on and off the court. I know now that this was only a small part of the truth. Erving was also a terrible tramp who had a child out of wedlock whom he barely spoke to---let alone acknowledged---for over 20 years. He has only in the last year attempted to have a real relationship with his daughter. Absolutely shameful.

Now, does this mean he's no longer in any way a hero to me? Do his infidelities and absentee parenting take away from the wonder I experienced watching his athletic accomplishments? Of course not. It does however, put them into perspective.

I'm certainly not the first fan to suffer from the shock and disappointment of the sight of fallen idols. The list of loose, fifth limbed athletes reads like a who's who in sports for the last quarter century. Erving, Barkley, Jordan, Tom Brady, Muhammad Ali, and now Woods have all caused themselves and others great harm by their willingness to spread themselves around. Perhaps the most infamous example is that of former Seattle Supersonic star Shawn Kemp. At last count, Kemp had seven babies by seven different baby mamas. Revolting. Check that, I stand corrected. The most infamous example has to be OJ Simpson. The "Juice's" infidelities lead to divorce and eventually to body bags. I guess that makes him king of the assholes.

This sort of behaviour is hardly limited to athletes. Presidents Kennedy, Eisenhower, and Clinton all had a "little something" on the side. Even the greatest civil rights leader of the 20th century, Martin Luther King Jr. was known to copulate with someone other than his wife.

So why do they do it? Why do they put their income and image at risk for a little "strange," so to speak? Well, because they can. These individuals live a lifestyle that most of us can't possibly imagine. They are catered to wherever they go. They have agents who insist they are worth millions of dollars to their teams and advertisers. Consider the ego required to think that you're worth ten million dollars a year to put a ball in the hoop or on the fairway? Or how about living a life that constantly requires you to be away from your family? A lifestyle that has women throwing themselves at you every chance they get. Temptation, literally around every corner. Who wouldn't start to believe they were bulletproof? I once heard a quote that states, "fame doesn't change you, it just brings out who you already are." Ain't it the truth. I mean, you don't even have to be handsome. Look at Charles Barkley. If he weren't able to dunk that basketball, he would likely be a tubby, moon-faced UPS driver (not that there's anything wrong with that). A pretty hilarious one, but still.

So, does that mean these cads should get a pass for their lascivious behaviour? Hell no! It just means we should put their lives in context. A context far outside of our own. Someone once said that "the greatest mystery in life is someone else's marriage." Fair enough, but I think I can one up that statement. I would say that the greatest mystery in life is someone you think you know whom you've never met.

Now, I'm not suggesting that we can't admire their deeds and exploits. There are few things more enjoyable than watching someone do something that you, yourself can't. Whether it's sports, the arts, public speaking, whatever. It's also nice if the most talented among us are good people who do good things. Woods himself has a number of charities that he is involved in that benefit children and education. In fact, his Tiger Woods Learning Center is a model educational facility for children from grades 4-12. It's fair to say that Woods doesn't just give money, or lend his name to charities, he also give his time. Which I consider no small thing, and worth remembering while he's getting pilloried (and rightly so, more or less) by the media and the public.

I guess all I'm really trying to say is that we, and the media, play a pretty large role in the exalting of these public strangers. That there is a very real danger in falling in love from a distance (it's just a baby step from stalking, ya know). So yes, these are incredibly accomplished people and there is much to be admired about many of them. But, in the end, they are only people. And people are complicated, act accordingly.

Sumo-Pop
December 13, 2009