This Is Your Song

Along with recording some of the best loved songs of the 20th century, Elton John has contributed greatly to worthy causes. His Elton John AIDS Foundation is a model organization that has raised millions upon millions of dollars for AIDS research and care. He obviously has a big heart and cares for the less fortunate among us.

So why in the world would Elton sing at the wedding of a hateful, morbidly obese, racist, drug addict, homophobe like Rush Limbaugh?

Before I get to the answer, let me share my appreciation for Sir Elton John. I've been listening to Elton's music for as long as I can remember. His first 11 albums (from 1969's Empty Sky to 1976's Blue Moves) are the standard for piano based pop music. Songs like Rocket Man, Levon, Tiny Dancer, and Goodbye Yellow Brick Road (the list is seemingly endless), are among my all time favorites.

The late seventies and most of the eighties were not nearly so friendly to John. Prolific drug use, a bizarre marriage to a woman (he's gay, ya know) named Renate Blauel in 1984, struggles with his voice (which eventually led to surgery), and a noticeable drop off in song quality dogged Elton for well over a decade. Oh sure, he still had some high moments during this period (Empty Garden, I Guess That's Why They Call It The Blues, and Sad Songs are my favorites), but even after Elton cleaned up his act it was clear that he was never going to reach those seventies heights ever again.

Too many of his albums contained way too much filler. Age and the vocal chord surgery robbed him of his grand high notes. And there just seemed to be something lazy and plodding about most of his music. It often seemed as if he was writing for the radio as opposed to quality. I know people love his rework of "Candle In The Wind" for Princess Diana, but I think it's pretty brutal. I have no idea how long that song actually is, but it feels on par with the length of "Lawrence Of Arabia." Overall, I find it terribly ironic that Elton's best music was recorded when he was high, in the closet, and what little hair he had was his own.

Even so, it is difficult not to forgive much of his lackluster later work due to his championing of noble causes. Aside from his Foundation, John has also worked to alleviate poverty in the poorest of countries, assist refugees in war torn lands, and fought hard for gay rights as well.

So I ask again what was Elton John doing singing at Rush Limbaugh's fourth wedding on June 5th of this year? I doubt Rush has anything notorious on Elton (his life is pretty much an open book these days). Elton's comment that it was an opportunity "to go where people wouldn't expect me to go" is dubious and true at the same time. Dubious, because I don't think that's the "why" at all. And true, because yeah, nobody expected him to go there. Who would think that Elton John would perform at the wedding of a man who would say these words?:

--Democrats will “bend over, grab the ankles, and say, ‘Have your way with me’” to African American and gay voters.

--Openly gay students are “trumpeting” their sexuality, “inviting dissent”.

--“When a gay person turns his back on you, it is anything but an insult; it’s an invitation.”

He also once aired a song on his radio show that referred to the openly gay House Representative from Massachusetts, Barney Frank, as the "Banking Queen."

And those are just his anti-gay remarks. I could go on for days about his other offensive comments about blacks, democrats, liberals, women, and nearly every other category and sub-category of person known to man.

Therefore, I am left with the only bit of evidence left that might explain why Elton crooned to Rush and wife number 4. Actually, there are one million bits of evidence. For that was Elton's fee for warbling to Rush--$1,000,000.

Which leaves me wondering, does Elton John need money? I know he's considered to be a bit of an extravagant person, but come on. Even at his current age of 63 and with diminished vocals, he has no trouble selling out stadiums and arenas around the world. I'm sure the royalties of his back catalog bring in a pretty penny every year. I mean, if he wanted to score an easy mil couldn't he have just found some rich asshole that no one's ever heard of who would hire him to sing at little Buffy's sweet sixteen?

Like I said, I have long admired Elton John for his music and for his support of worthy causes. And he certainly has the right to take legal tender from any pig of a person he chooses. But he doesn't need to, and that's what irritates me most. Is there nothing too low to acquiesce to for the sake of easy money? For Sir Elton, I guess not.

So Sir Elton, I say to you that this, THIS is your song (and it goes a little something like this):

Bum bada, bada, bada da, bada da...for the love of money...MONEY!!

Sumo-Pop
November 18, 2010