Charlton Heston's Cold, Dead Hands

"For the next six months, candidate and Vice President Al Gore is going to smear you as the enemy. He will slander you as gun-toting, knuckle-dragging, bloodthirsty maniacs who stand in the way of a safer America. Will you remain silent? I will not remain silent. If we are going to stop this, then it is vital to every law-abiding gun owner in America to register to vote and show up at the polls on election day. So, as we set out this year to defeat the divisive forces that would take freedom away, I want to say those fighting words for everyone within the sound of my voice to hear and to heed, and especially for you, Mr. Gore: 'From my cold, dead hands!'--Charlton Heston, May 20th, 2000 at the 129th NRA Convention in Charlotte, NC

And that was pretty much the final word on gun control for the next decade. After Al Gore "lost" the election, and particularly his home state of Tennessee, no major national Democrat has even dared to broach the subject.

This wasn't always the case. In 1994, then President Clinton signed into law the Assault Weapons Ban, outlawing the sale or purchase of certain semi-automatic weapons. After the horror of Columbine, their was much discussion of further tightening the restrictions around guns that were not meant for hunting or reasonable protection. However, once Gore went down to "defeat" to George W. Bush, the Democratic Party pretty much gave up on the issue.

Hell, despite the support of several national police organizations and the fact that President Bush said he would sign a bill into law if the congress approved it, an attempted extension in 2004 of the Assault Weapons Ban went down to defeat in the Senate by a vote of 8 to 90. Which means a whole helluva lot of Democrats went along with the Republican majority.

Now, after the awful events in Tucson earlier this month, come the first semi-serious discussion of gun laws in years. I say semi-serious, not because those doing the discussing aren't genuine. No. I say semi-serious because "everybody knows this is nowhere," to quote Neil Young.

This well meaning effort is so hopeless, that you are barely even hearing a peep out of the NRA. Why? Because they don't need to peep. They have the Republican dominated House in their pocket, and the Democratic majority in the Senate so brow-beaten and fear-ridden that they would probably rather take a swipe at single-payer than to discuss the expanding of even the most marginal of gun restrictions.

One of the few courageous Democrats to take up the issue is House Representative from New York, Carolyn McCarthy, who shortly after the assault in Tucson that left six dead and badly injured her colleague, Gabrielle Giffords, announced her intention to introduce a bill that would outlaw high capacity magazines like the one used by the shooter in said incident. It should be understood, that Ms. McCarthy comes by her position through brutal experience. In 1993, her husband was murdered and her son badly injured when a man named Colin Ferguson opened fire inside of a Long Island commuter train.

Still, despite her good and sensible intentions, no one thinks her bill will ever even make it to the floor of the Republican controlled House.

As soon as anyone even utters the thought of any type of gun restrictions, folks (typically) on the right start screaming about the Constitution, and freedom, and, well, you know the rest.

But let's get a few things straight here. When our forefathers wrote the second amendment stating our right to bare arms, they owned muskets. If you ever want to see how comparably ineffectual these weapons were compared to modern arms, then go to a Revolutionary war reenactment. Or, just rent Last Of The Mohicans (Daniel Day-Lewis version, naturally). Back in the 18th century, if your opponent took a shot at you and missed, you could scour the ground for a decent stone, walk a couple-a-hundred feet and beat him to death with it in the time it would take him to reload.

And as far as the freedom part, we do--believe it or not--have some sensible restrictions on weaponry in this country. Like you can't own a bazooka or a tank. But if you listen to gun rights advocates, you would swear that McCarthy's bill that would limit magazine capacity to 10 bullets, was the beginnings of a Bolshevik plot. In fact, the NRA actually fought for the rights of people on the "no fly" list to be able to purchase guns. Yeah, you heard that right. They stood up for people who were on the terrorist watch list.

Many of these folk have the dubious idea that more guns equals less crime. Well, this is one extremely well armed country, and the statistics do not bare out their position. A recent statistical analysis ranked the United States 9th out of 38 countries when it came to gun violence. Who beat us? Countries like Mexico, Brazil, and Northern Ireland. Two countries with very high poverty rates and one with centuries of political and religious based acrimony.

Not one first world country had a higher murder per capita rate than us.

So why do so many of us think that if the citizenry were well armed (which it is), we would have less crime? A lot of it has to do with the fantasy. The idea that well, if I had been there with my glock I woulda took that sucker out. First off, that almost never happens. Most people when they hear guns shots don't turn into Gregory Peck and The Guns Of The Navarone. Most people run in the opposite direction. Having a gun does not make you an action hero. It makes you a guy with a gun. That's all.

If you don't believe me, let's take a look at the state with perhaps the most lax gun laws in the union, Arizona. How lax are their gun laws? Well, here are some examples:

In the state of Arizona you do not need a permit to carry a concealed weapon.

You do not need a permit to purchase a handgun.

You do not need to register your handgun.

You do not need a license for your handgun.

You can carry a gun almost anywhere in the state, excepting doctor's offices and private businesses. But you can carry one into government buildings and even the state capitol. Anyone ever heard of Harvey Milk?

You can carry a gun into a bar. Although, you are not allowed to drink alcohol if you do. Which is fascinating to me. For one, why do people go to bars? And for two, who's responsible for making sure that you don't have a gun before you are served? Must the barkeep violate your rights by performing a "pat down?"

They even have a current proposal that would allow students and teachers to bring guns to school. Because what bad thing could happen with a well armed student body? I am willing to bet that certain pistol packing students would see their grades go up. "Oh, I disagree Professor. I think I deserve an 'A.'" Click-click.

The funny thing is, with all this lack of restriction, you might think that Arizona would be the first state that gun rights advocates would bring up when positing the more guns equals less crime argument. But you won't hear that. You won't hear that because Arizona has the 5th highest rate of firearm violence in the nation.

And let me add one more factoid to blow this argument all to hell. When that nutter walked up to congresswoman Giffords and shot her in the face, you know who stopped him after he blasted off 31 rounds and stopped to reload? Two senior citizens and a guy with a folding chair. None of them brandished a firearm. So, in a state with some of the most lenient gun laws in existence, where was our super hero to come in and save us with two guns blazing like he fell off of the silver screen of a John Woo movie? Ah, yes, that's right. They were in the movies.

The subject of gun control is where common sense goes to die. Any suggestion of restriction turns into a "slippery slope" argument about any limitation leading to ultimate limitation. And no statistics, no evidence, or any reason will be considered under any circumstances.

Next Tuesday, President Obama will deliver his third state of the union address. I expect his speech to lean heavily on the economy, civility, and I'm sure Congresswoman Giffords will get her well deserved tribute. But I do not expect him to touch--no matter how lightly--on the subject of gun control. Because he understands the same thing the rest of us do.

Everybody knows this is nowhere.

Sumo-Pop
January 22, 2011